You're My Favorite Thing

Original AVQ&A Q*: What’s your most treasured pop-cultural possession?

SPCHQ A: I'm not a traditional "collectibles" collector. When I go to comic book conventions such as San Diego Comic-Con, I come home with piles of books, comics, little pinbacks, and the occasional t-shirt, not limited edition, expensive, mint-on-card or in-box iterations of action figures. I also rotate pop-cultural (non-print) possessions in and out all the time, selling items on eBay and finding that I don't really miss them when they're gone. Over the years I've become hyper-aware of the problem of possessions and "stuff". While I'd like to say this is because of some sort of Buddhist imperative, it's because I'm just tired of moving shit.

Two pop-cultural possessions I will never part with are related to Berkeley Breathed's Bloom County. During Comdex 1993, a friend had the Opus 'n' Bill Brain Saver screensaver software box signed for me by Breathed. He was only signing empty flat boxes because the software hadn't shipped yet. Delrina Software was later sued by Berkeley Systems (no relation to the cartoonist) for trademark infringement of the famous "Flying Toaster" screensaver, which had been changed to "Death Toasters" in the Opus 'n' Bill package. Subsequent releases of the software included a modified "Censored Toaster Module", with propeller-toasters instead of winged toasters.

I'm also the proud parent of a genuine Opus the Penguin telephone, which my Dad found on eBay for me as a surprise. It's in good condition, and I like how Opus just has his flippers crossed over his penguin belly, as if waiting for herring, snugglebunnies, or the arrival of a new Turnip Twaddler. Here's a photo of him on the counter of one of my old apartments (please ignore the coffee stains on the counter).

When IDW Publishing begins releasing the archive collections of the Bloom County strip this fall, I'm sure those will become "treasured" as well.

* This feature is cribbed from the AV Club, AVQ&A, where staffers answer a pop culture related question. Read about their treasured possessions.

Ira Glass visited a farm, e-i-e-i-o...

... and became a vegetarian!



It's mesmerizing how many times Ira Glass says "chicken" near the end of this interview.

Satisfaction Guaranteed

Original AVQ&A Q*: Is there a piece of pop culture that absolutely, 100 percent never fails to make you laugh? (Or at least smile?)

SPCHQ A: Without a doubt, my go-to default anti-misery movie is 1999's South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut. I nearly passed out laughing the first time I saw it in the theater ten years ago. (They actually carded me when I went to see it, even though I was nearing 30!) You don't need to have watched the show to appreciate this incredibly twisted musical that provides surprisingly smart commentary on "negative media influence" paranoia. The songs are catchy and sing-along-able starting from the opening "Mountain Town" to "Uncle Fucka" to "Blame Canada" and beyond. The transfixed looks on the boys' faces the first time they watch Asses of Fire is amazing and accurate - just remember the first time you saw a "dirty" movie - and just goes from there. Lines from the movie sometimes work their way into my conversations. Sometimes I say that things have "warped my fragile little mind" or ask "What the hell is a rim job?" when I see certain consumer items. Although the last twenty minutes or so lag a bit, SP:BLU will always lift my misery thanks to its completely irreverent attitude, snark, and balls-out humor.

My "backup" go-to default anti-misery movie is the original 1988 version of Hairspray. It was perfectly written, cast, and paced. This may be John Waters' best film because he really loved the subject matter, having occasionally appeared on Baltimore's "Buddy Deane Show" as a teenager. It was Divine's best performance, and unfortunately his last. He delivers even the most throwaway lines with passion: "Could you turn that racket down, I'm TRYING to IRON in here. And my diet pill IS WEARING OFF." The musical version is just a pale, feeble counterfeit of the original, and John Travolta was just terrible as Edna Turnblad. I refuse to even acknowledge its existence.

* This feature is cribbed from the AV Club, AVQ&A, where staffers answer a pop culture related question. Read their answers to this question.

"And then there's Maude!"

Seriously, would you EVER see such a frank, normal, honest discussion about abortion in a sitcom or a drama anymore? Thanks, Ms. Arthur.

Performance: THIS AMERICAN LIFE LIVE!

(4/23, simulcast to movie theaters)

I've said it before and I'll stick by it: Ira Glass is one of my nerdy radio/television boyfriends. That sincere voice, that smile, the little bit of graying around the hairline - what a mensch. Why can't I meet more men like Ira? (Is it because I live in a city that's rapidly being taken over by douchebags like this?)

THIS AMERICAN LIFE LIVE was a stage version of the radio show performed at a theater in New York and simulcast to selected movie theaters around the country. It was great fun, from the pre-show puzzles to the final bow. It was funny, poignant, sad, silly, and (I hate this expression but haven't found a suitable replacement) thought-provoking.

The overall theme of the show was "Return to the Scene of the Crime", presented in five acts. Act I featured comedian Mike Birbiglia's story about a botched police report that identified him as the cause of a DUI crash, instead of the victim. In Act II, Starlee Kine read an essay (accompanied by illustrations on Post-It notes by Arthur Jones) about attending the Hoffman Institute for an intensive eight-day therapy session intended to free herself from her childhood. The therapy included beating pillows - which represented parents - with wiffle ball bats for hours on end. (No, seriously. You can even buy one of the official wiffle ball bats.) Also, if you haven't heard Starlee's previous TAL story "Dr. Phil", you need to listen to it now.

Act III was a sweet cartoon by Chris Ware featuring his Quimby the Mouse and a cat head, set to a song by Andrew Bird. Act IV affected me deeply, as I'm sure it did many other in the audience. Dan Savage read an essay about his tentative return to the Catholic Church after his beloved mother's recent death. By "return" he means sitting quietly in a church near his Seattle home a few times a week, not actually attending services or receiving the sacraments. While much of the essay was humorous (such as describing the architecture of modern Catholic Churches as looking "like someone slapped a crucifix up on the wall of the Brady Family's rec room"), writing and reading about his mom's death was incredibly difficult for him. He choked up a few times, but never completely broke down. For a man who makes a living writing an extremely dirty sex column with an even dirtier podcast (and yes, I'm a loyal listener), watching him read about his mom was sweet and touching. (Is it improper of me to add that Dan Savage is an incredibly attractive gay man? Damn, he's hott with two "t"s. His boyfriend is a very lucky man.)

The evening wrapped up in Act V, a brief musical performance from a bearded Joss Whedon, playing one of the songs from the meta-commentary of the Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog DVD.

Along the course of the evening Ira played some additional film and audio clips, including footage from an ancient TAL Live show, circa 1998 in Chicago. The clip featured Ira and Dan's moms giving advice on sex and love (it was a Valentine's Day program).

In all, a fun evening that went off without any technical glitches or hiccups, and a lot cheaper what the Kimmel Center was charging to see Ira Glass live earlier this year (something like $100). If you missed the simulcast, they will be replaying it in theaters on May 7th, and of course the audio-appropriate parts will eventually become a radio show episode.

Art I've Resisted, or Never Lost.

Original AVQ&A Q*: Do you have a well-known film/album/show that you've specifically resisted from viewing, etc. for whatever reason? For example, a friend of mine has refuses to watch any of the remade Mummy films, since as he puts it, "There can't possibly be anything in there for me."

SPCHQ A: A sure way to get me NOT to watch a television show or movie is to over-hype it.

Therefore, there's a few television programs I've avoided watching from their inception (but later caught up with on DVD) because the massive hype surrounding them completely turned me off, such as The O.C., Veronica Mars, Smallville, 30 Rock, Firefly, and Sex and the City (although that last one was also due to HBO limitations). Maybe it's a natural extension of my cautious consumer nature and need to question authority, but just as I don't believe that the shampoo in a commercial will completely change my life, I find it difficult to accept that any piece of entertainment can be THAT GOOD that it's worth stopping the world to watch.

I have never seen an episode of Lost.

I initially resisted watching Lost not due to the hype surrounding its 2004 debut, but because it opened with an absolutely realistic and terrifying plane crash. Just as I always close my eyes when there's about to be a car crash on television or in a movie, I just can't stomach watching plane crashes either. It's probably a combination of disliking air travel and watching those planes hit the WTC back in 2001. Whatever the case, I had no interest in Lost when it began.

Of course, Lost is structured so you can't just "pick it up in the middle" or sit down and watch an episode out of boredom, because you will have even less idea what the hell is going on than the regular viewers. So, I never even bothered to try catching up during the first season, even after the DVD set came out.

My disinterest in ever watching Lost grew as its hype did. Maybe I'm missing out on the greatest smart show ever, but at this point, I still have absolutely no interest in watching it, even though it can easily be done with a combination of DVD, streaming video, and BitTorrent. There's many other series on my Netflix queue that have priority: The Wire, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, the rest of The O.C., Dead Like Me. I can't even fake any enthusiasm for Lost.


* This feature is cribbed from the AV Club, AVQ&A, where staffers answer a pop culture related question. Read their answers to Art We've Resisted.

Hey, who moved the furniture?

After almost four years with the same design, I decided to change the layout of Syndicate Product. The blue/gray color palate is little easier on the retinas than the previously stark white, and the post layout is more pleasing (for me, anyway).

Of course, a blog redesign means nothing if there's not fresh content to fill it. I've only posted a paltry 36 times so far in 2009, and this embarrasses me some, especially since in 2008 I pledged "365 posts in 365 days". There are a few reasons that posting has been slow. I've been posting my regular media diet over at Syndicate Consumption instead of here. The first quarter of this year has also been batshit crazy, both life and work. Plus, there haven't been any over-privileged parenting stories about taking your kids to bars in huge strollers in the NY Times Styles section for me to savage. (Well, maybe there have, but I chose to ignore them.)

In an effort to inject some adrenaline in SPCHQ, I'm going to be borrowing a feature from the AV Club (a site you really should be reading), "AVQ&A". For about the past five months, writers at the AV Club have been answering a pop culture related question posted by a reader, and invite other readers to contribute to the discussion in the comments. Since I've never been much of a blog commenter, I've decided to answer selected questions here on the blog.

Look for the first installment sometime later this evening. And, if my "borrowing" of this feature inspires any pop culture questions you want to ask me, drop me an e-mail (syndprod [at] gmail [dot] com).

“What came first, the music or the misery?”

"People worry about kids playing with guns, and teenagers watching violent videos; we are scared that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands – literally thousands – of songs about broken hearts and rejections and pain and misery and loss. The unhappiest people I know, romantically speaking, are the ones who like pop music the most; and I don’t know whether pop music has caused this unhappiness, but I do know that they’ve been listening to the sad songs longer than they’ve been living the unhappy lives."

-- Nick Hornby, High Fidelity

Signs, signs, everywhere signs...

These photos were taken along PA Route 93 in Luzerne County. They refer to a plan to dredge the Delaware River between PA and NJ, and truck the dredge up to Luzerne County to fill in the huge craters caused by strip mining. Residents are concerned about toxic materials present in the river sludge further contaminating the land. It's not very well-publicized, but Luzerne County is rather polluted with toxic chemicals, both from former industrial plants and from dumping (legal and illegal), which is a travesty. This is just one person's attempt at letting people know about it.

"The Hero of Canton, the man they call meeeee..."

Pretty gorram cool. But I only wish they were all wearing proper "Jayne hats" while performing live.

Of Interest (Design + Art) : 04.09.2009

+ No alien autopsies, but plenty of interesting images to be found in newly released U.S. Army medical photos from the National Museum of Health and Medicine (wow, another cool museum to visit). Check out their annotated Flickr stream.

+ April is another "30 Days, 30 Pais" month! Read 30 cartoons this month drawn by Paisley T. Paiserton, the only cat drawing diary comics!

+ Here's an extremely cool photography project: Looking Into the Past, which combines old photos of a location in a new snapshot. First saw this on Geekadelphia, and there's now a Flickr group for it: Looking Into The Past.

+ A collaborative art project from H. Mathis: THE DIRT. Using Craigslist, the artist collected dirt from all 50 states in the United States. Pretty amazing project - read about the collection process (and problems), and check out a photoset of dirt from 50 states.

+ These grown up versions of Calvin and Hobbes (and Susie D.!) are quite charming.

Typo/Graphic Posters: an archive of posters featuring typography as the major element. An incredible time-suck and source of inspiration.

+ General Mills has been using retro cereal box designs again. I really like the old-style Wheaties box. Maybe they should stick with that instead of using athletes anymore. To my knowledge, no drawing of an athlete has ever been caught taking bong hits.

+ Also: The Library of Congress has a Twitter feed!

Of Interest (Techie) : 04.05.2009

Last year I wrote a post about coveting a vintage IBM Model M keyboard, often considered the best keyboard ever designed, in an industrial sense. Now, take a tour of The 10 Worst PC Keyboards Of All Time. Strangely enough, before designing the Model M, IBM created one of the suckiest keyboards ever for the PCjr. I didn't even recognize some of these computers from the early 80s, but wouldn't it be cool to find a vintage Matel Aquarius?

From the folks who brought you the beautiful daVinci iPhone exploded view t-shirt comes the Exploded 2600 t-shirt. Want.

Also very seriously considering this All-in-One Card Stamp, since it's completely wasteful and unoriginal to drop $4 on a greeting card. However, it doesn't seem to actually exist as a product anywhere.

This could have been penned by my Depression-era parents: The Repair Manifesto. My favorite is: "Repaired things are unique."

4 wearable blankets enter the ring, one remains standing. It's not a surprise that the Slanket won this battle - my Dad got one for Xmas and I think he's still wearing it every night in his Archie chair, even though it's warming up. Plus, no annoying television commercials exist for the Slanket.

Visit the Annex!

Posting has been shamefully light here at Syndicate Product Covert HQ. However, please check out Syndicate Consumption, as I've been posting many media reviews there over the past few weeks.