Disappointments 2009

Since one of the traditions of Festivus is the "Airing of Grievances", I thought it appropriate to list a few pieces of entertainment that disappointed me greatly in 2009.

Book: EATING THE DINOSAUR by Chuck Klosterman
Dear Chuck: You need to decide what kind of cultural critic you want to be when you grow up. You can be an academic critic, and toss around philosophical, literary, and cultural studies references. Or, you can continue in the manner you've mastered so well over the past ten or so years, weaving metal, sports, trashy pop culture incidents, and your personal story into witty, highly readable essays. Unfortunately, you don't have the writing talent to create a hybrid of both styles, as evidenced by this mess of a collection.

Music: POPULAR SONGS by Yo La Tengo
Kinda... boring. And derivative. Derivative as in echoes of the Beach Boys’ “Sloop John B” in “When It’s Dark”, and classic Motown in the opening of “If It’s True” (although there is some nice organ playing in there as well). The three epics that close the album - “More Stars Than There Are In Heaven” (9:39), “The Fireside” (11:25), and “And The Glitter is Gone” (15:24) - redeem it somewhat, but this may be YLT's weakest release.

Book: RIPPED - HOW THE WIRED GENERATION REVOLUTIONIZED MUSIC by Greg Kot
This book presented nothing new or interesting for anyone who has download music (legally or illegally) in the past ten years. And it sorely lacked an editor or fact checker. I still cannot let this statement pass: “The Internet was conceived as a Utopian ideal, designed by nonprofit researchers in 1990 as an undiscriminating conduit for information.” 1990? (Read my entire review here.)

Movie: RACHEL GETTING MARRIED, directed by Jonathan Demme
Aggressively pretentious. And boring. And by the time it was done, I wanted to strangle every single person involved in its creation.

Movie: TERMINATOR:SALVATION, directed by McG
Please, stop yelling at me. Just stop. Please. My face actually hurt after suffering though this debacle.

Book: THE NEW KINGS OF NONFICTION by Ira Glass (editor)
The selections weren’t unusual, daring, or challenging, and most of the contributors are well-known NY Times bestseller list authors: Bill Buford, David Foster Wallace, Chuck Klosterman, Susan Orlean, Dan Savage, Malcolm Gladwell, and others. Most of the selections are long and tend to drag in some places. It took great effort to get through this volume, and I left a few pieces unread. It may have made for a more interesting collection if Ira Glass had selected a wider range of shorter pieces from more sources, such as websites, blogs, and zines. It was a collection of “kings” indeed - there were only two pieces by women.

Music: DARK WAS THE NIGHT by Various Artists
A 2-CD K-Tel-esque benefit compilation of Pitchfork-y indie darlings including Bon Iver, Arcade Fire, Spoon, The Decemberists, Andrew Bird, Conor Oberst, Beirut, and many other 7.0+ sweethearts. It’s a completely boring collection full of maudlin and midtempo songs that all kind of meld into one massive snoozefest. Sure, this is a compilation benefit for Red Hot, an AIDS research organization, but does that mean it has to be completely dour, overwrought, and unfun? Does serious medical crisis always have to equal “serious” entertainment? Cat Power’s version of “Amazing Grace” is so painfully overwrought it borders on parody. The few redeeming tracks are contributed by Spoon (“Well Alright”) and Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings (a cover of “Inspiration Information”).

Television: BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: THE PLAN
This felt like odds and ends from the last few seasons of BSG reconfigured into a less-than-coherent parallel story. It could have easily been condensed into one stand-along episode during the show's run instead of released as a DVD movie.

Movie: PUSH, directed by Paul McGuigan
An unfortunate muddled mess of a science fiction film, re-treading the “mutants vs. normals” yet again. The unusual Hong Kong setting and the amazingly compelling Dakota Fanning made it somewhat more tolerable.

Movie: KNOWING, directed by Alex Proyas
It took me two days to finish watching the turgid KNOWING. I think my description of it to a friend was much more entertaining than the actual movie:

“Okay, so Nicolas Cage is an astrophysicist. An alcoholic astrophysicist... at M.I.T. And his wife was killed in a tragic accident the year before, and so he’s raising his son alone... And the son is partially deaf. Anyway, the movie starts 50 years earlier when elementary school students draw pictures about the future for a time capsule and this creepy Emily The Strange-type girl fills up a page with numbers. So flash forward to the present, and Nic Cage’s semi-deaf son gets that letter from the time capsule. And then in an drunken stupor Dr. Nic figures out that the numbers identify dates, number of deaths, and locations of of every disaster in the past fifty years. (Of course, Nic screams that... THE! LAST! FIFTY! YEARS!) Blah blah blah... finds the daughter of the creepy girl who wrote the list of numbers… son’s hearing aid starts picking up voices and so does creepy girl’s granddaughter (but without a hearing aid)... heat wave... solar flares... mute visitors following the two kids… attempts at family reconciliation... aliens... chosen ones... ultimate sacrifice... angels (maybe)... destruction (actually, quite surprised that they did allow the earth to be burned)... resurrection and amber waves of grain and nice linen clothing and bunnies... and a thin layer of creepy quasi-Sc13nt0l0gee all over the screen. Maybe it was too deep for me to get, I dunno.”

TV Moments 2009

Instead of making a list of programs, I'm borrowing from the A.V. Club and compiling a list of memorable TV moments in 2009. Their list had 45, this is a bit shorter, and is presented in no particular order.

How I Met Your Mother: "The Front Porch"
Season 4, Episode 16, 4/16/09
This was a complex HIMYM, combining a storyline set in the present, multiple (potential) flash forwards, multiple flashbacks, Robin's "Wake Up New York" program broadcast within the show, and a fantasy sequence demonstrating the aeronautic freedom found in a nightshirt. It was an exhausting 22 minutes, but it held together wonderfully. And, here are five reasons to sleep in a nightshirt, according to Marshall:

1. No need to wear anything underneath.
2. Sexy.
3. Grandpa Olaf wore one and lived to be 107.
4. No elastic waistband leaving its judgmental pink teeth marks around my Thanksgiving belly.
5. Every night, when I go to sleep, it's the freest, most wonderful feeling in the world. I feel like I'm flying.

Chuck: "Chuck vs. The Ring"
Season 2, Episode 22, 4/27/09
Sure, there was the wedding-destroying performance of "Mr. Roboto" by Jeffster (or, "Sam Kinison and an Indian lesbian"), which was resolved by a lovely beach wedding set to Slow Club's "Christmas TV", and plenty of well-cast bit players, such as Scott Bakula and the lovely Matt Bomer . However, the last two minutes were perhaps the best in the series' short history. After selflessly re-downloading the Intersect into his brain, Chuck finds himself suddenly more - agile - than ever before, flattening the bad guys and uttering these five words to end the season: "Guys, I know kung fu."


Top Chef: "Le Bernardin"
Season 5, Episode 11, 2/4/09
Finnish wonderboy Stefan skins and fillets an eel for Eric Ripert by first grabbing a huge nail and pounding the head of the dead - but still wriggling - slimy creature into the cutting board to steady it . This brutal display of culinary skill ranks second in TC history, bested by Hung's decimation of four whole chickens in minutes during Season 3.




Better Off Ted: "Racial Sensitivity"
Season 1, Episode 4, 4/8/09
Veridian Dynamics installs new power-saving lights that apparently don't recognize black employees, as scientist Lem finds out.

Ted: The system doesn't see black people?
Veronica: I know. Weird, huh?
Ted: That's more than weird, Veronica. That's basically, well... racist.
Veronica: The company's position is that it's actually the opposite of racist, because it's not targeting black people. It's just ignoring them. They insist the worst people can call it is "indifferent."
Ted: Well, they know it has to be fixed, right? Please... at least say they know that.
Veronica: Of course they do, and they're working on it. In the meantime they'd like everyone to celebrate the fact that it sees Hispanics, Asians, Pacific Islanders, and Jews.

Oddly enough, HP recently had an incident where the built-inwebcam wasn't recognizing darker skinned people.


Dollhouse: Beginning with "Briar Rose", Season 1, Episode 11 and continuing through all of Season 2
It was worth suffering through the sub-par first ten episodes of Dollhouse for the payout. After the focus was removed from Eliza Dushku (who suffers from a very limited acting range, let's be honest) and onto the inner workings of the multiple (!) Dollhouses, the Rossum Corporation (!!), and the destructive potential of the download/mindwipe technology if misused (!!!), the show exploded into a complete mindfuck . The two most recent episodes, "Stop-Loss" and "The Attic" were tightly, sickly, written. Of course, just when Dollhouse finds its perfect pacing, FOX kills it. Enjoy the last three upcoming episodes, and buy the complete series when it lands on DVD.


Battlestar Galactica: "Daybreak, Pt. 2"
Season 4, Episode 22, 3/20/09
I was disappointed by the resolution of Battlestar Galactica, how all the technology was destroyed when they settled on earth; how Starbuck was actually an angel (?); and how 150,000 years later we're cautioned to be nice to our robotic devices less they turn against us - again. The reason the last 30 minutes or so were such a letdown was because the hour leading up to it barely gave you time to breathe. The peak of the finale was when the Final Five Cylons - Tyrol, Tori, Ellen, Tigh , and the incapacitated Anders - realize they need to share the contents of their minds to fully understand the resurrection technology. They dip their hands into Anders' tub o' goo... and all hell breaks loose. Tyrol learns that Tori had ejected his wife Cally out of the airlock, so he strangles her. Cylon Cavil realizes it's all gone to shit and shoots himself, the CIC dissolves in chaos, nuclear devices explode and destroy the Colony, and Starbuck jumps the ship because "there must be some way out of here". If only the last half of the finale had maintained that level of energy.


CSI: "A Space Oddity"
Season 9, Episode 20, 4/16/09
Every so often, CSI: (Original Recipe) takes a break from the blood 'n' gore and does a cute - but not cloyingly so - episode. This centered around an "Astro Quest" fan convention, where a producer trying to re-boot the vintage series is murdered. There's cute Hodges and Wendy interaction, cameos from BSG cast members, and BSG producer Ron Moore himself screaming "You suck!" at the idea of an "Astro Quest" re-boot. (The joke of course that Ron Moore was lambasted when he introduced the re-boot of BSG.) Even in its tenth season, CSI: effortlessly manages to be entertaining, amusing, and smart television. The recent permanent addition of Laurence Fishburne has re-energized the program, as well.


Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: "Adam Raised a Cain"
Season 2, Episode 21, 4/3/09
The killing of Derek Reese (the surprisingly good Brian Austin Green) in this episode was surprising in that it was nasty, unexpected, and matter-of-fact. There was no extended death sequence, no crying, not even any time to really mourn. It was realistic for the premise of the show. Of all the shows that have concluded naturally or were canceled brutally over the past few years, T:TSCC is one of the largest losses.


The Big Bang Theory: "The Monopolar Expedition"
Season 2, Episode 23, 5/11/09
Truthfully, the best TBBT episode of 2009 actually occurred at the butt end of 2008, when Penny gave Sheldon a napkin with Leonard Nimoy's autograph (and stray DNA) for Christmas, and he was actually stunned as how to respond. However, there were plenty of worthy Sheldon moments in 2009 proper. Consider his exasperation at being called to a meeting with the Dean at 8AM:

Sheldon: Must be an emergency. Everyone at the university knows I eat my breakfast at 8 and move my bowels at 8:20.
Leonard: Yes, how did we live before Twitter? I guess you'll find out what it is in the morning.
Sheldon: That's fourteen hours away. For the next 840 minutes, I'm effectively one of Heisenberg's particles. I know where I am, I know how fast I'm going, but I can't know both.

Sam Axe, Burn Notice
No particular episode, just the entirety of Sam Axe, as played to the edge by the Human Chin wrapped in Tommy Bahama, Mr. Bruce Campbell. This may be his most realized, fully developed role ever. Whether toting a fish around, plugging MGD 64, helping out Michael's mom Madeline, roughing up a suspect, or pulling a Charles Finley, it's obvious Campbell is loving this role.




Bonus: Gray Areas

These are television episodes that were released only on DVD in 2009, but not actually broadcast:

+ Caprica: This BSG-prequel begins on SyFy next month, and I can only hope the remaining episodes are nearly as elegant as the first film-length episode. It's perfectly cast.

+ It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: It's a Very Sunny Christmas: This will probably NEVER air on FX, and if it does will be heavily bleeped and edited. Watch it in its purest form on DVD or through Amazon-on-Demand. Along with The Ref, and Die Hard, this will be a new Xmas tradition for me, one I'll settle in to watch after I finish throwing rocks at trains.

+ Dollhouse, "Epitath One": The unaired 13th Episode of Season One, which could have served as a series ender if needed, and now makes a lot more sense after certain events of Season Two have occurred.

Book Picks 2009

The "to read" pile is still stacked high, and I'm considering not buying any new books during 2010 until I catch up, only borrow books from the library and trade through Bookmooch or Paperback Swap. But library book sales are acceptable. And used bookstores. And trashpickng. And "archival" works like the Bloom County and Peanuts collections. And of course small press and independently published books are acceptable purchases. Ah, screw it. It's books, not hookers and blow.

Most of these books were published in 2009, but not all of them. Titles are linked to my original commentary about the book.

In alphabetical order, by author:

I'm Perfect, You're Doomed: Tales from a Jehovah's Witness Upbringing by Kyria Abrahams (Kyria Abrahams' blog)

Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel (Alison Bechdel's blog)

Geektastic: Stories from the Nerd Herd edited by Holly Black and Cecil Castellucci

Manhood for Amateurs: The Pleasures and Regrets of a Husband, Father, and Son by Michael Chabon

The Strain by Guillermo del Toro and Chuck Hogan (The Strain trilogy site)

The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite by David Kessler

I'm Dying Up Here: Heartbreak and High Times in Stand-up Comedy's Golden Era by William Knoedelseder

Schulz and Peanuts: A Biography by David Michaelis (Book site)

A Canticle for Leibowitz by Walter M. Miller, Jr.

The Big Rewind: A Memoir Brought to You by Pop Culture by Nathan Rabin

The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner's Semester at America's Holiest University by Kevin Roose (Kevin Roose's blog)

Shelf Discovery: The Teen Classics We Never Stopped Reading by Lizzie Skurnick (Fine Lines site)

Cartwheels in a Sari: A Memoir of Growing Up Cult by Jayanti Tamm (Jayanti Tamm's blog)

Movie Picks 2009

Truthfully, I'm not much of a movie-goer anymore. Most films come out on DVD within six months (usually less), and I find that it's a more pleasant experience watching it from the couch as opposed to a dirty movie theater with kids screaming and people providing running commentary. However, from time to time I haul ass to the actual theater and catch a show. Note that this list is potentially missing the following end-of-the-year movies on my "to see" list: Avatar, Sherlock Holmes, Up the the Air, The Road, and Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans.

Adventureland
Directed by Greg Mottola
A well-structured, believable, and likable “coming-of-age” story (or bildungsroman, if you will) with great performances and a true ’80s soundtrack that mixes pop crap with college indie tunes. There are many reasons I enjoyed ADVENTURELAND, including the lo-fi film technique, the aforementioned soundtrack (both the licensed songs and the incidental music by Yo La Tengo), the casting*, and the pacing. And while it may seem like a small detail, it was a plus that all of the characters were over the age of 21, removing the need for the tired “who can we get to buy us beer” plot.

The characters are not written as broad stereotypes, but as actual late-’80s young adults from a range of backgrounds, social classes, and education levels. For example, in another other movie, “Lisa P.” - the amusement part hottie (hot for the ’80s, anyway) - would be written as a total and complete vapid slut. Here, “Lisa P.” is actually still a virgin (although she’ll do anything else but the actual act), and back working at the park because of her ill father, who she is clearly worried about. In a lesser movie, park mechanic stud “Mike” (Ryan Reynolds) would be the male equivalent of “Lisa P.”, banging every girl he could. However, he’s also written deeper, with a aging mother and an unhappy marriage. Even minor characters such as Martin Starr’s “Joel” are multi-dimensional - he’s smart, too smart to be stuck where he is, but he accepts that his lousy financial and home situation are going to keep him where he his. He copes by reading incredibly erudite books and smoking a pipe non-ironically. Even the parks owners, played by Bill Hader and Kristen Wiisg, have layers - they love their Adventureland, even know they both seem to know it’s rapidly going down the crapper.

Both the characterizations and the dialogue were well-developed and well-written, completely free of snark, irony, and too many clever pop culture references. It felt natural, not forced like Juno or The Squid and the Whale. And unlike most indie-style movies, it didn’t end with the lead characters just staring off into the distance while a mournful song plays it the background.

Coraline
Directed by Henry Selick
Okay, this is a bit of a cheat, since I watched it on DVD. (But I was kicking myself the entire time for not seeing it in the theater.) Loved that Coraline actually went on an adventure, and had to figure things out for herself. There was no snark or sarcasm, just pure non-sweet fantasy. And it looked AMAZING.

District 9
Directed by Neil Blomkamp
The most intelligent political science fiction I’ve seen since the cancellation of TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES. This movie was smart, complex, and completely human under the exoskeletons. (How can you not feel awful watching alien (“prawn”) “Christopher Johnson” explain to his son that they wouldn’t be going back home, but instead on to District 10, another tent city sure to become a slum.) The structure of the film, a mix of documentary interviews, cinema verite footage, and straight up action, worked well. Of course, the aliens and effects were spectacular, thanks to Weta Workshop and other VFX houses, and the “District 9” camp had a completely claustrophobic, run-down, desperate quality about it.

Yes, DISTRICT 9 is incredibly loud and SF splatter-y, but even with the sound and the fury, I didn’t feel exhausted and tenderized as I had after watching both TERMINATOR: SALVATION and X-MEN: ORIGINS earlier this year. It is so much more than a “summer movie”. Props to Peter Jackson for taking a chance on an unknown director and his original six-minute short film, Alive in Joburg.

Fantastic Mr. Fox
Directed by Wes Anderson
"You should probably put your bandit hat on now. Personally, I- I don't have one, but I modified this tube sock." - Ash Fox
(See recent commentary here.)

Julie & Julia
Directed by Nora Ephron
Finally, a movie directed by Nora Ephron that didn’t make my metaphorical testicles shrivel up and take metaphorical refuge inside my body.

It was a complete joy to watch this movie, something I rarely ever say. The performances were perfect, even Amy Adams’ “Julie”, who had been described in reviews as the “weaker” half of the film. I thought Adams gave a spot-on performance as a panicked, turning-thirty, self-absorbed blogger who truly believed she would be letting her readers down (as well as herself) if she didn’t finish the project. Of course Meryl Streep was perfect as Julia Child, with a large body and larger personality. Stanley Tucci was also ideal as Paul Child, devoted husband and love of her life. It’s so nice to see a married couple on screen who truly adore each other. And the food, oh deity, the food. From the lovely little Paris bistros, to Le Cordon Bleu cooking school, to Julie’s impossibly tiny Queens kitchen, the food was so appealing. Plus the fresh markets in Paris, Dean & DeLuca in NYC, and the pounds and pounds of butter… it made cooking look to be pleasure, not a chore, or a snobby competition.

Star Trek
Directed by J.J. Abrams
As mentioned in many reviews of the film, you didn’t need to be a Trekker/ie to be able to follow and enjoy J.J. Abrams re-booted Star Trek. I found this to be entirely true. Sure, some knowledge would be useful, but not required. As a “standalone” science fiction movie, I really enjoyed the story. The special effects were very well done and especially impressive in IMAX (it was obvious where the budget went), and the roles cast nicely. Fine, I’ll say it: Chris Pine (Kirk) and Zachary Quinto (Spock) are pretty! However, even more fun were the performances from Karl Urban (Bones), Simon Pegg (Scotty), John Cho (Sulu), and Anton YelchinChekov; also looking forward to Yelchin as Kyle Reese in (Terminator: Salvation). The movie was also well paced, a quality I’ve found lacking in the last few behemoth movies I’ve seen (e.g. WATCHMEN).

Watchmen
Directed by Zack Snyder
Hey, I liked it and stand by my decision. Still want to see the ULTIMATE CUT on DVD though.

Zombieland
Directed by Ruben Fleischer
New Rule: Jesse Eisenberg can only make movies with titles that end in "-land". He's been in two of my favorite movies of 2009, Adventureland and now Zombieland. He's has a certain dry, nebbish-y, beleaguered nice kid persona that isn't forced or affected. (See Michael Cera for an example of "forced and affected"). He was perfect as "Columbus", the sensible sidekick to Woody Harrelson's slightly insane "Tallahassee", as they drive around the remains of the United States after the zombie plague has taken hold, teaming up with "Wichita" (Emma Stone) and "Little Rock" (Abigail Breslin) to smear the undead. As with DISTRICT 9 earlier this year, ZOMBIELAND jumps right into the story, with only the briefest of expository backstory - Patient Zero was infected after eating a hamburger laced with the zombie virus. From there, it's straight to the action, which is cartoonish and rollicking as opposed to gory and shocking. The gore is Evil Dead-style, gross but not terrifying. It probably earned it's "R" from the sheer amount of spent ammunition and Harrelson's unending stream of vulgarity, which at times reaches Natural Born Killers level. Overall, an immensely fun B-movie that moves along incredibly well, never gets maudlin, and also serves as a surprisingly instructive guide to surviving the zombie plague. Just remember, always double tap. (And watch out for those bathrooms.)

Honorable mentions: The first 20 minutes of Up; the effects in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince; Hugh Jackman's torso in X-Men Origins: Wolverene

Please, just make it stop, you're hurting my face: Terminator: Salvation

Mainstream-y Seq. Art Picks 2009 (Pt. 4 of 4)

STRANGE TALES (Marvel)
Strange Tales is a 3 issue mini-series featuring indie comic artists’ takes on Marvel characters. Each oversize issue contains several self-contained stories by artists such as James Kochalka, Dash Shaw, Johnny Ryan, Jim Rugg, and Tony Millionaire. The sole multi-part story running through all issues is Peter Bagge’s “The Incorrigible Hulk”, an amusing take on Dr. Bruce Banner. This hopefully introduced indie comic artists to mainstream readers. (No idea if it will be released as a collection, but the three individual issues should still be easy to find.)

STUMPTOWN (Oni)
Greg Rucka, story; Matthew Southworth, art
I first heard about this project in 2007. It finally launched at the end of 2009, and I am looking forward to reading in 2010. It's a hardboiled Portland-based detective story with a great woman lead, Dex. The art is beautiful. (11-page preview here.)

SUPERGIRL: COSMIC ADVENTURES IN THE 8TH GRADE (DC)
Landry Q. Walker, story; Eric Jones, art
Doesn’t follow the Superman “canon” at all, just an adorable kid-comic featuring a tween-teen Kara stranded on Earth and trying to adjust to junior high. Nice to see a non-pneumatic, awkward, clumsy Kara for a change. (All six issues have been collected on one TPB.)

THE UNWRITTEN (Vertigo)
Mike Carey, story; Peter Gross, art
This is a promising title concerning the son (and inspiration) of the disappeared writer of extremely popular “boy wizard” novels, the “Tommy Taylor” series. His life as a model for a fictional character has always been somewhat weird, but it has turned even stranger with the revelation that his social insurance number and birth records seem to be faked, and characters from the novels (not just crazed, costumed fans) have been attacking him. So, who really came first: Tom Taylor or “Tommy Taylor”? Does Tom Taylor only exist because of the creation of “Tommy Taylor”? (Issues #1-5: Tommy Taylor and the Bogus Identity collected asTPB; read all of Issue #1 here.)

WEDNESDAY COMICS (DC)
This was a 12-issue weekly summer project from DC, printed oversize on newsprint. Some of the serialized stories were better than others, but I really liked Jimmy Palmiotti and Amanda Conner's SUPERGIRL story, which prominently featured both Krypto the Superdog and Streaky the Supercat misbehaving terribly (see illustrations). Next year, DC will be collecting all 12 issues in one oversize hardbound collection, arranged by complete story.

Mainstream-y Seq. Art Picks 2009 (Pt. 3 of 4)

OSHINBO (Viz Signature)
Tetsu Kariya, story; Akira Hanaski, art
(Volumes include Japanese Cuisine; Sake; Ramen and Goyza; Fish, Sushi, and Sashimi; Vegetables; Pub Food; and Rice)
The overarching story of OISHINBO is the creation by the Tozai News of the “Ultimate Menu” of Japanese food for the paper’s 100th anniversary. The project is led by slacker gourmand Yamaoka Shiro, and hindered at every turn by his estranged father Kaibara Yuzan, artist and also a gourmand. The books are full of interesting and surprising facts about the proper preparation of all types of Japanese cuisine, with a book dedicated to a broad category of food. I never knew that there were so many types and styles of sake - it’s almost like the varieties of beer available in the U.S. Or that sashimi from the same breed of fish can taste extremely different depending on where in the river they were caught. The translations are a little clunky at times, but overall the OISHINBO series is an interesting read, and a good value since each of the books are around 270 pages each, and printed in a larger format that most U.S. manga.

PHONOGRAM: SINGLES CLUB (Image)
Kieron Gillen, story; Jamie McKelvie, art
I try to spread the PHONOGRAM gospel as much as possible. When I wore my Jamie McKelvie “Last Night This DJ Ruined by Life” t-shirt to SPX, at least ten people commented about it. I’ve given the bound trade collection of PHONOGRAM: RUE BRITTANIA as a gift. PHONOGRAM returned in 2009 as a seven-issue series!
All of the main stories in THE SINGLES CLUB series take place on the same night, at the same club, Never on a Sunday. The writing is sharp and filled with musical references, the art bold and vibrant. Plus, each issue contains bonus materials such as essays, playlists, annotations on the musical references, and additional very short comics written by Kieron, and illustrated by other artists. For example, Issue #1 featured bonus work by Laurenn McCubbin and Mark Ellerby (who did the amazing Love the Way You Love with Jamie S. Rich). I highly recommend picking up the single issues of this series instead of waiting for the bound trade, which won’t include the essays and bonus comics. (Previews available via the highly entertaining Phonogram Blog.)


RESURRECTION V. 2 (Oni)
Marc Guggenheim, story; Justin Greenwood, art.
There have been many stories in many media (film, print, comic, etc.) about hostile alien invasions, but few have asked the question “What happens to us, as a civilization, when they leave after many years of occupation?” RESURRECTION is not just a post-apocalyptic story, it’s also post-occupation, and it’s very compelling. Full color issues of Volume 2 began publishing earlier this summer, and Oni Press was kind enough to release a cheap, B&W trade edition of Volume 1: The Insurgent Edition for the low price of $6(!!) at the same time. Pick up the Volume 1 trade, you’ll be drawn in by the individual characters and the story, which shifts between the present-day (after the alien withdrawal) and the days of the initial invasion. Excellent, excellent storytelling, which is a hallmark of Oni Press. (Preview of Volume 1 trade.)

SOLANIN (Viz Signature)
Asano Inio, story and art
Generally, I don’t read much manga because I’m not into magical girl, samurai, school stories, fairies, and other common tropes (at least in the translated manga that makes it to the U.S.). It can also be a pricey habit because some of the series can run 20, 30, 40 books long. However, I would devour more manga if I could find titles similar to the excellent SOLANIN - a “slice of life” (realistic) story, self-contained in one thick volume. SOLANIN was excellent, both the story and art. It’s the story of a group of friends just out of university, trying to figure out “What next?” and often failing. There is tragedy, disappointment, failure, friendship, and all the other emotions and events you go through in your 20s without being silly, cliche, or happily-ever-after. These could have been my friends 15 years ago. SOLANIN has earned a spot in my personal “awesome” graphic novels, books I’d give to others in attempts to get them addicted.

"They're coming out of the weather, for Christmas alone together..."

Vintage animated holiday greetings from R.O. Blechman

Songs in the Key of X(mas)*

I've written previously about what I consider to be quality holiday music, since it's one of the few elements about the end of the year I don't hate. The easiest place to find decent Xmas Music that won't make you puke is the WOXY Holiday Mixer. It's a great alternative to the terrestrial radio stations that switched to an all-Xmas Music format right after Thanksgiving, but play nothing but absolute crap (and the same crap over and over), like the Paul McCartney song "Wonderful Christmastime", which causes me to claw for the nearest sharp implement - a fork, a spork, a hypodermic needle, anything - to stab my eardrums out so I don't have to be subjected to its absolute terror. (Gah, I really hate that song.)

Of course, if you're looking for strange, lost-and-found, and often just downright terrible Xmas Music as a break from the same fifty songs you hear every year, here are a few places to look.

All Songs Considered
The contributors to All Songs Considered recently did their annual holiday show (available for streaming or download), featuring recent holiday music. Not everything they featured was cheesy or terrible or aurally offensive. Some of it is quite pretty, like Sufjan Stevens' "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" and Low's version of "Silent Night". The Leevees' "How Do You Spell Channakkahh?" is erudite and witty. A song-poem, "Santa Fix My Toys for Christmas" is sad, weird, and features a bit of the Sad Trombone. I even like the weird, prog-y "When the Going Gets Dark" by Quasi, and The Raveonettes' "Christmas Song" kicks ass. For good measure they throw in Bob Dylan's "Must be Santa Claus" polka.

Sound Opinions
The latest edition of Sound Opinions is curated by Andy Cirzan, a collector of odd, lost, and obscure Christmas songs, all from vinyl. There's some musically interesting stuff on the 2009 mix, such as "Santa's Magical Bag", a late 60s/early 70s-esque swinging jam. There's also a fair dose of weirdness like "The L onliest Christmas Tree" by Lise Miller. And "Panco (from El Rancho)" about a little donkey who wants to be a reindeer certainly pre-dates the familiar tune about "Dominic, the Italian Christmas Donkey". This year's entire mix, entitled "The Cassette Years: Part 2" is available for download until January 1. Be sure to get it before it's gone, as it's a well assembled and thoughtfully tracked mix. Cirzan also has a Flickr set of the album covers for 2009 available.

Mellowmas
Popdose is one of my favorite entertainment blogs. They review books, movies, television, but focus on music. As a music blog, they receive thousands of CDs every year. A few years back, the editors Jeff Giles and Jason Hare started featuring some of the really crappy, abysmal holiday music they received in an Advent-style feature called "Mellowmas" (after the long-dead "Mellow Gold" AM radio format). The best way to start exploring Mellowmas is on The First Day of Mellowmas, which provides an introduction to the concept, links to previous years (with most of the mp3 files still intact!), and the Mellowmas theme song, composed by actual Mellow Gold artist Alan O'Day (writer/performer of "Undercover Angel", a #1 hit in 1977).

From there, browse through the lowlights of the month. I'm both enthralled and kinda scared by Rob Halford's rendition of "O Come All Ye Faithful". Leighton Meester (aka "Blair Waldorf") autotunes her way through "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)", and it's just as bad you think it is, maybe even worse. It's actually kind of fun to hear Neil Diamond sing "The Chanukah Song", though. There's plenty of pretension from both Sting and Tori Amos, too!

Annoying (Christmas) Music
Jim Nayder is the curator of The Annoying Music Show on Chicago Public Radio, and he often appears on the NPR news shows with some of his finds, especially around holidays.

It was five years ago, but I still remember hearing this segment featuring Jim Nayder of The Annoying Music Show on NPR's Weekend Edition Saturday on 12/18/04. It was a particularly fallow period in my life. I had recently ended a ten year relationship in a spectacular manner, had no job, had most of my life in storage, was rapidly losing what little ambition I had left, and was ricocheting between my parents' house (who were becoming increasingly irritated with my situation) and a friend's apartment. It was not a happy time.

I remember laying on the floor on the thin mattress of a fold-out IKEA couch in my friend's spare room, staring at the ceiling, down, out, and depressed while listening to NPR in the late afternoon. This segment came on near the end of the hour. As a fan of strange, outsider-y, weird music, I paid semi-attention. By the end of the seven-minute segment, I was laughing uncontrollably and gasping for air. It was exactly the obscureness, weirdness, and perverseness I needed at that moment to (temporarily) pull myself out of a nasty mope. What set me over the edge was the completely incongruous electro-trance "Bacteria". There are some other winners in here as well, including the Jingle Cats, and the traditional Mary-Joseph-Virgin Birth story set to the tune of "The Brady Bunch" theme.



Here's 2009's installment of Annoying Christmas Music from Jim Nayder, which is nowhere nearly as whacked as the 2004 edition, but worth a listen anyway. How can you resist "Hava Nagila" as performed by dogs and cats?




* Title tip o' the hat to Irwin Chusid, author and curator of Songs in the Key of Z: The Curious Universe of Outsider Music.

Edited to Add: Late addition from the A.V. Club: 15 Strange Songs that Deserve to be Holiday Classics (includes streaming playlist).

Mainstream-y Seq. Art Picks 2009 (Pt. 2 of 4)

Dark Horse One-Shots: SUGAR SHOCK, ABE SAPIEN, DR. HORRIBLE, BtVS: WILLOW
Dark Horse Comics released a series of nine different one-shot comics that were all great self-contained reads. SUGAR SHOCK had previously appeared on the Dark Horse Presents My Space site; ABE SAPIEN has beautifully, eerie artwork; DR. HORRIBLE is just as amusing as the web project. Sometimes you don't want to read a multi-issue story arc, sometimes you just want one story, concise and tightly-written. (See info about the One-Shot-Wonders series, and access previews.)

DAYTRIPPER (Vertigo)
Fabio Moon and Gabriel Ba, story and art.
Only Issue #1 (which was phenomenal) has been released so far, but I can't wait to read all of brothers' Fabio Moon and Gabriel Ba's story about an obituary writer during 2010.

INCOGNITO (Icon)
Ed Brubaker, story; Sean Phillips, art; additional essays by Jess Nevins.
A mash-up of crime and superhero comics, boiled hard and served up on a dirty plate. Read this if you enjoyed Brubaker & Phillips previous collaboration, CRIMINAL. The additional essays by Jess Nevins about long-lost pulp heroes are fantastic, especially Issue #6's story on zeppelin (!!) pulp stories. (Six issue series now collected in TPB.)

INVINCIBLE IRON MAN (Marvel)
Matt Fraction, story; Salvador Larroca, art.
The recent reboot of Invincible Iron Man continues be compelling storytelling. 2009 was dominated by the 11-part arc "World's Most Wanted", which takes place after the defeat of the Skrulls (Secret Invasion). SHIELD has been replaced by Norman Osborn and HAMMER, and the only way to keep Stark-developed technologies out of their hands is for Tony Stark to completely lobotomize himself. The rebuilding story "Stark: Disassembled" followed.

JERSEY GODS (Image)
Glen Brunswick, story; Dan McDaid, art.
This looks like it’s going to be a fun series, a combination of superhero and romance comic set in New Jersey. Although I don’t hail from the Garden State, I grew up in its shadow and it has certainly been a part of my life. Issue #2 had awesome cover art by Darwyn Cooke (pictured). (JERSEY GODS issue previews; JERSEY GODS blog).

Meltdown

The photo posted a few days ago was taken during a snowstorm on Saturday evening. There was about a foot of snow balanced on the railing, and wasn't cleaned it off during the Sunday dig out.

It's started to melt in a very sculptural way, since it doesn't get direct sun, and is partially under an overhang.

Mainstream-y Seq. Art Picks 2009 (Pt. 1 of 4)

BEASTS OF BURDEN (Dark Horse)
Evan Dorkin, story; Jill Thompson, art.
The animals of Burden Hill originated in Dark Horse anthologies such as the DARK HORSE BOOK OF HAUNTINGS and DARK HORSE BOOK OF WITCHCRAFT. The stories were so moving and so popular that Evan Dorkin and Jill Thompson were give a 4-issue limited series this year. These are full on horror comics with blood, the occult, suffering and death, not warm-and-fuzzy animal tales (Issue #2 is particularly gut-wrenching). They are awesome. And I want to adopt "Orphan", the only cat allowed in the Wise Dog Society team of paranormal investigators. (Previews of all 4 issues here.)

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: SEASON 8 (Dark Horse)
Various artists and writers.
BtVS: S8 continued strongly, with five one-short stories (including the amusing return of vampiric Harmony), followed by the five-part RETREAT written by Jane Esperson and drawn by Georges Jeanty, which brought back Oz and threw powerless Slayers against their most horrific enemy. Season 8 is supposed to end with issue #40 this year, but Joss Whedon has hinted that there may indeed be a Season 9. (For previews from Season 8, go to the Buffy Zone at Dark Horse.)

CHEW (Image)
John Layman, story; Rob Guillory, art & cover.
Tony Chu is a “cibopath”. When he eats anything, he immediately knows its entire production history. This has turned him off of ever eating meat again, so he sticks to mainly beets, which don’t generate anything. He’s also a cop, currently staking out an illegal chicken speakeasy. (Chicken has been banned due to the bird flu.) As a combination cop/cibopath, sometimes Tony has to really sink his teeth into the work. (Ugh, sorry.) The story and art are both beautifully twisted. Issues #1-5, "Taster's Choice", have been collected in a (cheap!) TBP; Issue #6 begins the story arc "International Flavor". (CHEW issue previews.)

COMIC BOOK COMICS (#3 AND #4) (Evil Twin Comics)
Fred Van Lente, story; Ryan Dunlavey, art.
COMIC BOOK COMICS presents the history of comic books, as, um a comic book. Issue #3 focuses on the comic book “threat” of the 1950s, Wertham’s Seduction of the Innocent, and the creation of the Comics Code Authority. It boils down last year’s excellent The Ten-Cent Plague: The Great Comic Book Scare and How It Changed America by David Hajdu to its essence. There’s also articles about comics’ influence on Pop art, camp, and the creation of fanzines in comic culture. Issue #4 includes the story of how Marvel became "Marvel" with an explanation of "the Marvel Method" of comics creation; the birth (and death) of underground comix with Crumb, Shelton, head shops and mainstream appropriation; and a short history of comics in France (where they are truly respected as an art form). Comic Book Comics are fun reading, extensively researched with annotations available at the Evil Twin Comics site.

It's not magical and wonderful when you have to shovel it.

Snowcat!

The new Simon's Cat film is appropriate for today's snowstorm here in Philadelphia.

When appliances gain Sentience

I was buzzing my teeth this morning with a new electric toothbrush, and I remembered a favorite comical story from the Escape Pod Science Fiction Podcast series. Take a listen.

Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush by Derek Zumsteg, read by Jared Axelrod.

Still life with can opener.

"To pay to be sick is crazy."

I can't get over my fear of going to the doctor. It's not that I have a fear of doctors, it's that I'm terrified of being diagnosed with, well, anything (no matter how minor) because it may someday down the line be labeled as a "pre-existing condition" if I ever need to broker and buy my own health insurance again. Sure, Independence Blue Cross/Blue Shield has huge billboards around town touting patriotically-priced "$76 a month health insurance", but who would qualify for that rate, how high of a deductible, and what would it even cover?

This is an interview with cartoonist Julia Wertz, creator of The Fart Party, about not having health insurance, and having lupus. Of course, some of the reactions around the web are predictable, along the lines of "she has no right to complain because she chooses to live in Brooklyn, she doesn't want to get a real job and instead draw comics, and she's a little bitchy whiner". Why are creative people always told that the only answer to their problems is to give up on creative pursuits?

Sequential Art: MONSTERS by Ken Dahl

"Imagine never kissing anyone on the lips ever again."

After reading MONSTERS and WELCOME TO THE DAHL HOUSE earlier this year, Ken Dahl is fast becoming one of my favorite artists.

While a non-fiction memoir about life with the herpes simplex virus seems well, icky, at first, it's one of the most compelling books I've read all year, and certainly one of the best original graphic novels (although it was previously a set of minicomix) I've ever read. It requires multiple reads to really absorb "Ken Dahl's" (aka Gabby Schulz) story of five years living with herpes. I'm a fan of his clean, yet intricate drawing style, which includes lots of little details in each panel, such as packages in the health food store where he works labeled "Flax Bomb", "Oat Boner" and "Colon 911". Yes, there's lots to look at in MONSTERS.

... Including some nasty, medical textbook-level illustrations of herpes sores on various body parts. On a less graphic and more symbolic level, Ken also draws himself enveloped by a huge bubble of HSV, and has a little sidekick virus he talks to throughout the book as well. There's also a very good primer on HSV, which is fascinating because it's full of facts that they never tell you in the ads for Valtrex. Ken also provides a helpful Resource section at the end of the book. (And if you're order the book direct from Secret Acres, maybe you'll even get some herpes sores temporary tattoos tucked in the pages.)

But MONSTERS isn't all gross illustrations and facts and figures, but the story of a guy trying to figure out how to live knowing that he can (and unknowingly did) give HSV to intimate partners. Do you be responsible, careful and eternally lonely? Do you take a chance and hope you're not symptomatic that night? Or do you just say fuck it and not tell your partner until after you've rolled in the hay? Should you even bother and just try to accept eternal loneliness (and hornyness)? Many questions, not a lot of answers, but a lot of compromises.

This is an advertising campaign. (An annoying one, too.)

If you live in a large city with a mass transit system like Philadelphia, you too may have been assaulted the past few months with a huge advertising campaign for a mobile internet company called Clear. They have blanketed the train stations with large "wraps" on pillars, attached to walls and even, in some cases, the floor, with slogans enticing people to "stream movies at the laundromat" or "watch television during a ball game". It's an annoying, horribly intrusive campaign, made even worse by the actual salespeople set up in the stations trying to get you sign up for the Clear service. I'm not "in the market" (as they say) for mobile internet. It's enough that I feel tethered to a cell phone with meager e-mail capabilities, I don't need anything more than that. But, if I ever change my mind, I won't choose Clear.

Some of the double decker tour buses have been completely wrapped with Clear advertisements saying "This is not a bus".

Every time I see one of these buses, I immediately think of Surrealist artist Rene Magritte's "The Treachery of Images", more casually known as the "This is not a pipe" painting. That painting was supposed to be a comment on images, reproduction, and reality. Somehow, I don't think the agency behind the Clear campaign is really referencing that painting.

"We'll decorate a barstool and gather 'round and sing..."

I've posted this around this time for a few years running, but this year it seems especially bittersweet. Rest peacefully, Dalton.

Soundtrack: ROCK OF AGES / Original Broadway Cast Recording

I've admitted before that one of my secret shames is hair metal. Not surprisingly, the musical construction of many hair metal anthems translate easily into booming Broadway epics with only minor modifications. Listening to this recording sort of makes me miss the 80s, the epoch of hair metal and also my prime teenage years. Sometimes I miss fluffy entertainment that doesn't have some sort of snarky, ironic, or twee underbelly, and isn't merchandised beyond albums, posters, and t-shirts, the usual trappings of rock culture. Those hair metal songs didn't have to mean anything after their final notes faded out, much like current Broadway compositions. And really, any musical that can mash up Joan Jett's "I Hate Myself for Loving You" with Asia's "Heat of the Moment" is worth a listen. They can even take a much-derided Whitesnake anthem and make it so much more than just some chick writhing on a car.

Book: INVENTORY

Book: INVENTORY: 16 Films Featuring Manic Pixie Dream Girls, 10 Great Songs Nearly Ruined By Saxophone, and 100 More Obsessively Specific Pop-Culture Lists by The Onion A.V. Club

Normally, I disdain blogs-into-books. However, INVENTORY is much, much better than the average blog-into-book. First, it has its roots firmly in print, which means that the writing has had time to develop. It means the A.V. Club writers actually know how to write, not just blog. Second, the writers compose interesting lists, such as 17 Books We Wish Were Still in Print, 18-plus Truly Tough Superhero Adolescences, and 22 Ridiculous Horror Movie Adversaries.

My copy is stuffed with Post-It tabs noting books, movies, and recordings I want to search out. Sure, you can probably find most of this content at the A.V. Club site, but it's a much handier and portable in book format. (Plus, I will never reach the point where I take a laptop to the bathroom. That's just too icky. Books, magazines, fine. Electronics, no.)

Book: THE ATROCITY ARCHIVES by Charles Stross

Recommended if you are intrigued by the origins of Hellboy (the character), fascinated by the writings of H.P. Lovecraft and other pulp writers (and a little Neal Stephenson, too), and really believe the government does have divisions dedicated to the supernatural and occult*, this should be your next read. Minor complaints: the pacing is a little bit slow at times, dragging down the action; the terrible cover on the paperback version I read, which doesn't accurately reflect the tone and content of the story. The story has amusing passages, but it is not a humorous SF novel, especially when lead investigator "Bob Howard"** discovers the contents of the Atrocity Archives.

* Not as far-fetched as you think, considering the United Kingdom's Ministry of Defence just closed their UFO investigation unit earlier this month, after 50 years of service.

** Named for Robert E. Howard, pulp author, creator of Conan, and contemporary of H.P. Lovecraft. See the excellent biopic The Whole Wide World.

Movie: FANTASTIC MR. FOX

2009, Directed by Wes Anderson

In FANTASTIC MR. FOX, Wes Anderson pulls off the impossible. As a director with a well-established quirky style, he adapted the children's book so that it was neither twee nor mumblecore (despite Noah Baumbach co-writing the screenplay). It's charming and a little bit sad, but never sickly sweet or cloying. The use of puppets as opposed to total computer animation makes it especially fun to watch. I just wanted to reach out and give all the creatures a hearty scratch behind the ears. (Sure, Pixar does amazing work, but it's nice to see some physicality in an animated movie again.)

It was also cast and recorded extraordinarily. Instead of sequestering the actors in a studio, they were recorded in an old barn and farmhouse, complete with natural sounds. George Clooney is clearly channeling Danny Ocean for Mr. Fox, and it's truly heartbreaking when Mrs. Fox (Meryl Streep) admits to him, "I love you, but I never should have married you." Jason Schwartzman is sad and lovely as the teenaged (in fox years) Ash Fox, never his father's favorite, and even less so now that athletic cousin Kristofferson has arrived for a visit. Of course, Bill Murray shows up as a Badger lawyer, and "demolitions expert".


I think it was important that Wes Anderson reminded viewers that no matter how domesticated the animals were, at heart they were still wild animals. Mr. and Mrs. Fox are shown in earlier years stealing squabs; later in the film Mr. Fox continues to kill chickens. At times, Mr. Fox and Badger nearly physically attack each other during arguments. And to finally defeat Misters Boggis, Bunce, and Bean, the animals have to embrace their true wild natures, answering to their Latin names and utilizing their given skills.

In all, FANTASTIC MR. FOX moved me more than other films I've seen this year. I still can't understand how blogger Lauren Bans of the weakly-written DoubleX blog found the stark, lonely scene where the men of the Fox family, along with possum Kylie, encounter a wolf - one of the few remaining wild animals in the countryside - as racist and appropriating of the "black power fist" (a gesture which existed long before the Black Power movement adopted it). Please don't give the dreadful DoubleX more page views; instead read this smart, on-point rebuttal from Ross Douthat.

Nescafe no es cafe.

This morning I found myself coffee-less at home. In cases such as these I just brew up a strong cup of Yerba Matte, which works just as well. However, a few weeks ago I was given sample packs* of new Nescafe single-serve coffee at the train station. It's clear that these were developed to challenge Starbucks' recent instant coffee product, Via. They were still sitting at the bottom of my bag, so I dug them out, boiled some water, and mixed up a packet of "original".

The first sign that perhaps this was a mistake was it took much stirring to completely dissolve the coffee crystals. The smell wasn't helping either. I dumped about a tablespoon of sugar and some creamer in the mug, and gave it a try.

Gag. Gak. Gasp.

I now have a new baseline for "The Worst Cup of Coffee I've Ever Tried to Consume", knocking off the previous title-holder, a cup of sludge from the Quick Stop in Leonardo, NJ. (Yes, THAT Quick Stop.)

Down the drain it went. Boiled more water for Yerba Matte instead. Not wanting to be wasteful, I placed the remaining packets in the kitchen at work, where people will eat/drink anything that hasn't gained sentience. Two hours since placement, and only 8 of the 19 packets still remain.

Clearly, I need to stop taking samples from hucksters at the train station. Have I learned nothing from the Enviga Incident?


* If you really want to try a sample of this sludge, here's a free sample form.

Television: BETTER OFF TED

In honor of BETTER OFF TED episodes returning tomorrow (Tuesdays, ABC, 9:30PM), a brief compendium of the best dialog from Veridian Dynamics' two top scientists, Phil (Jonathan Slavin) and Lem (Malcolm Barrett):

Phil (looking into a microscope): Ever get the feeling the ooplasm cultures are looking up at you, worshiping you like a vengeful god?
Lem: No. Cytoplasm cultures sometimes, but never ooplasm.

Phil: How can I know so much about the bonds of chemicals, but so little about the bonds of friendship?

Lem: If only I were a worm. Then I could cut myself in two and date my lower self.
Phil: We all wish we could be worms Lem, but that's not going to happen.

Phil: Oh Lem, you're using science for no good. We took an oath to do that less.

Phil: I can write a program that's triggered by an acid buildup, a sort of "acid interface" or "ASSFACE" for short.
Lem: I'm not sure these abbreviations are worth the time they're saving.

Lem: But MIT was the best! The academic clubs! The dorms! The guys! The girl!

Lem: It's like having eyes everywhere! But not in the bad way, like the time we spilled that container full of eyes.

Syndicate Consolidation

At the beginning of 2008, the Syndicate Consumption Tumblog launched as a space to comment on my media diet, what I was reading, watching, listening to, even eating. Since March 2008, Syndicate Consumption cataloged commentary hundreds of items.

However, despite linking Syndicate Consumption from SPCHQ, printing the web address on promo materials and in the zine masthead, many people never jumped over to read it, or weren't even aware it existed. While it's not a great loss that people didn't read my thoughts on Hellboy II for example, there were many minicomics (Izzy Challenge), comics (Comic Book Comics), and zines (Becoming the Media: A Critical History of Clamor Magazine) reviewed that deserved more visibility.

Therefore effective immediately, Syndicate Consumption is folding back into Syndicate Product Covert HQ.

The Syndicate Consumption Archives will remain. Yearly print compendiums of my consumption may or may not continue, that's still to be determined. To view only the Consumption posts on SPCHQ, just chose the "consumption" tag from the "Labels" drop-down menu.

Aw, look at little Cthulhu!

I've mentioned this before, but many of the CD-Rs that come in at work from authors based in Asia have the coolest graphics and designs. Just got another one in today:


Aw, what a cute little Cthulhu!

OK, it's probably supposed to be an octopus, but it still looks kind of tentacle-y and Cthulhu was the first thing I thought of.

Plus, it's the month of Cthulhumas over at Tor.com, with daily posts concerning all things H.P. Lovecraft, including the much-beloved Cthulhu.

Of Interest (Food): 12.04.2009

+ New Favorite Blog: Second Rate Snacks, reviewing knockoffs of popular snacks, such as low-end store brands, off brands, and those found in dollar stores. Explore the differences between Sociables and Minglers crackers, or Pop Tarts vs. Pop Ups. What about the ultimate cracker smackdown between Goldfish and Whales? This blog reminds me a lot of one of my favorite zines ever, the long gone Beer Frame. Lots of fun to read, and well written to boot!

+ Heading to Las Vegas or just the local Chinese restaurant down the block? Do your homework before by reading the highly amusing All-Inclusive-All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Guide! Please be sure to memorize the Etiquette section. (Also, this post is intended to be humorous. No need to post comments on it like "This is why Americans are fat!".)

+ Not a fan of the sandwich, but the French Dip Review blog is fun to read, and the eater/author has clearly put a lot of thought into the rating system, breaking it into bread, roast beef, cheese, au jus, and miscellaneous (appearance, price, etc.).

+ True fact: until I was about 18, I thought there were only 5 shapes of pasta: spaghetti, ziti, lasagna noodles, macaroni, and small shells. Obviously, I did not grow up in a pasta-and-sauce eating household. (Because if I did, I'd be calling it "gravy".) Mom certainly could have used the L'Enciclopedia della Pasta, featuring photos of over 150 different shapes of pasta.

Consumption: Dark Chocolate Covered Peppermint Joe Joe's

These are like crack to me. Lovely chocolate covered, smushed with ground up peppermint crack. It's probably a good thing they they only arrive once a year.

I would stockpile them, but I'm not sure how well they'd freeze. And, as I've learned, TJ's Joe Joe's cookies WILL go rancid after a few months. Plus they are $4 a box, and a box only has about 12 pieces of crack cookies.

No Eggo to Leggo

Shortages due to factory flooding; Kellogg's hopes to be back at full strength Eggo production by mid-2010.

(Photo taken in Target, Springfield PA)

"A bald girl? Yeck! It's disgusting!"

Sometimes you just need a little Mel Brooks to get you through the day. (From Free To Be You And Me.)